Star Trek: The ROB Chronicles
by Tallictr
Summary: After countless eons of an increasingly intolerable omniscient existence, a R.O.B. decides to disguise himself as a mortal and go on vacation. Seeking somewhere he knows he will be free to enjoy himself, somewhere that even an all-powerful being such as himself could do as he pleased, he sets his sights on the Star Trek Universe. Well, one of them. For the time being, at least.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys and gals._

_So, this was written mostly as a way to help bring a smile to my face amidst the shitstorm that is my feelings of constant anxiety and unsure-ness with just about everything in my life. I'm just feeling a lot sadder than usual, for some reason I can't exactly pinpoint. So much so that even my tried and true, not so much anymore, method of turning to television shows and comedy sketches has failed me._

_In essence, I need a win._

_To that end, I've decided to write out one of the worst types of stories, the one fanfiction readers across the board apparently hate. The source of which, I also can't pinpoint. I mean, if the story is well-written then I honestly don't mind reading about one "perfect" guy who comes in from the "real world" and solves the stories problems in just a handful of chapters with some un-godly plot device. I mean, wish fulfillment in the Harry Potter franchise was why I started reading fanfiction in the first place._

_Anyway, I don't mean to rant. But keep in mind that I'm writing this primarily for me and posting it so that by the end of it, whether I finish this story or not, I feel like I've gotten something done. Cathartic release, I guess? I don't honestly know._

_This story comes from my recently acquired addictions of relentlessly watching the Star Trek and Alien series in their entirety. Fun fact, they weren't exactly the pick me up I'd really needed, BUT they did lead me to this. Which has honestly made me feel better at just the thought of writing it out._

_Ah, I'm droning. Just, read this knowing I wanted something where the ending outcome for each adventure is usually a happy one. Or, more truthfully, one that makes me happy regardless of what others might think._

_Enjoy the story, and as of now the one author's note I'll be writing for it, and I'll see you in the next chapter._

_Bye~_

* * *

I awaken to the sight of a control panel, on which my head is laying, and the sound of metal being cut into with phaser beams. Probably the part of the ship I'm in being opened up by force. But I can't be certain. It's a toss-up between what it could be and what I think it is now that most of my R.O.B. powers have been temporarily locked away.

Ugh. Being omniscient really sucks sometimes. It's like, you always know how things are gonna turn out no matter how complicated or infinitely chaotic they are! Where's the fun in that, huh? I'll tell you where. _Nowhere_.

Which is why I'm taking my vacation whilst my supreme powers are tucked away in the recesses of my now-mortal existence. I'm still able to use them, of course, but only if I really, really wanted them to come out. A safeguard, of sorts. And while I have little self-control for the most part, I at least have enough to play the role I've set for myself. Wouldn't do to rush things, now would it?

I can hear muffled voices speaking outside. I can't tell exactly what they're saying through the thick metal—and isn't that freaking exciting haha!—but I'm pretty sure they're close to opening my ship's cockpit door. Unfortunately, I'm almost certain they're about to open it at the cost of it no longer being attached to doorframe.

I get up from my chair and walk over to the interface attached to the wall beside the door. It's biometric, needing my genetic code to unlock it. Of course, there's also a method that the ship's drones, or someone who's not me, can use. But the biometric scanner is the most convenient method for me at the moment.

The door hisses as it opens, which visibly startles the three people behind it into raising their weapons. Of course, the mild surprise they feel turns into absolute shock as a seven foot, three hundred and fifty pound, hairless, white-skinned, black eyed, humanoid figure in a skeleton-like armor covering everything except its head stands waiting before them.

"What are you doing on my ship?" I tilt my head slightly and ask in a deep, rumbling voice. Their guns are still aimed at me, with their holds tightened, but they haven't opened fire. So, that's a good sign.

I raise my hands. "Please, put your weapons down. There is no need for any violence. Though, I will ask again. Why have you come here?"

Neither of us move for a minute, until one of them, Hoshi Sato I believe, holsters her gun and takes out her universal translator instead. After fiddling with it for a few seconds, she holds it up between us. "Would you mind speaking some more? The translator needs to hear your language so it can translate it into ours."

I make a point to look at her in confusion, even though I knew what she wanted. In response she extended her arm forward, wagging the device at me and make a gesture with her free hand towards her throat. Nodding my head in eventual understanding and confirmation, I begin to speak. "How long until the device translates what I am saying into your language? Hopefully, it is not too long. I do have a ship I need to check on."

"It's working, he should be able to understand us." She informs the others, still sounding nervous, but more comfortable now that she can understand me. Turning to look me in the eyes, "Hello. We apologize for intruding onto your ship. But your ship was transmitting an automatic message that was somehow forcing our navigation system to lead our ship to your location."

I nod. "Yes." Oh, good. My voice sounds just as intimidating in English. Or at least, I'm pretty sure it's English. Oh, yes. Not knowing things for certain is definitely my new favorite thing.

Lowering her weapon, but not enough to deny herself the opportunity to snap it back up should the situation call for it, T'Pol speaks up. Her voice I recognize instantly. "Why are you luring ships here? Are you in need of assistance?"

Instead of answering, I turn around and retreat to the cockpit. With the press of a few buttons, the signal turns off. "What're you doin'?" Tucker, I presume. I don't even need to look to know he has his phaser pointed at me. Turning to face him, "I have turned the signal off. My sincerest apologies. I did not mean to inconvenience you."

His cautious suspicion recedes as he lowers it, leaving behind a slight hesitance and some embarrassment for assuming the worst of me. "W-well, as long as you don't do it again…"

Walking back towards the hallway area outside the cockpit, I answer T'Pol's earlier question. "As it is just myself and my androids aboard my ship, I find that I spend the majority of my time piloting and checking over their work for any possible errors. As such, I do not get to sleep very often. Not that I need very much to begin with. I am embarrassed to admit that I must have fallen asleep at some point and accidentally activated the ship's emergency beacon in doing so." I give an apologetic bow of the head.

I receive a nod of understanding in return. "Was there any damage done to your ship?" I ask. "If so, I would be more than willing to help you repair it."

The three exchange several looks and a few nods before focusing on me. T'Pol steps forward. "If you could, we would appreciate the help. Our ship sustained damage to its left nacelle after an encounter with a hostile race not too long ago. Any help you might be able to provide to speed up repairs would be much appreciated."

I nod and walk past them, gesturing them to follow me. As we walk, I hear their communicator go off. "T'Pol." She announces herself.

"It's Archer. The signal has stopped and we're maintaining a steady orbit a safe distance away from you. Whatever you did over there worked."

I look behind me and share a glance with her for a few seconds before facing in front of me. "We've met the ship's owner and he's turned it off for us. He claims he fell asleep and accidentally activated it. He's also expressed his desire to make amends by helping to repair our damaged nacelle." She sounded suspicious, but that could just be because she's Vulcan and all Vulcan sound like that at first listen.

"Oh? Well, if he can that'd be great. Long-range sensors just spotted a Minshara-class planet not too far off. If we can get these repairs done in the next few hours, we'll be able to reach it by tomorrow. Call back when you're ready to return to the Enterprise. Archer out." The communicator beeps again before shutting down.

We walk through several rooms, each one containing an android that operated the system within the room. As we walked into the room that controlled the Door Systems on the ship, I could hear the three of them gasp. I follow their line of sight to the android currently aiming an electrically charged hand at them as it spoke to me; its eyes glowing red. "**Intruders detected. Requesting permission to engage.**" If I said yes, then they'd be fired instantly. There's some serious voltage going on in that hand right now.

"Woah, woah, woah!" Tucker was the first to notice.

"I thought you said those things were offline!" Then Hoshi began freaking out.

T'Pol didn't say anything, but her phaser was aimed at my android all the same.

Their reactions were understandable. The androids I made were pretty daunting to look at. Six feet tall, glowing white eyes, metallic monotone voices, and unnatural-looking white synthetic skin all made them sights to behold.

"Relax, friends. It won't harm you." At the word 'friends' the android lowered its arm. "**Acknowledged, Captain. Intruder(s) designation updated. New designation: Friends.**" With that, its eyes faded back into their standard white and it turned back to its work on repairing the ship's doors. The ones my new friends busted down to get to me.

"What is that thing?" Tucker asked. "We saw a whole bunch of them at stations like this one on the way in, but they weren't functioning. Their eyes didn't glow red like this one. Come to think of it, this one wasn't functioning either."

"They are androids. I built them to help me run the ship, and they only activate when something on the Kestrel needs to be calibrated or repaired. This one," I gesture to the still active machine. "is working on fixing the other doors I assume you broke on your way in." I add a lilt to my voice to show my amused accusation.

The way Tucker and Hoshi looked awkwardly in another direction let me know I hit the nail on the head. T'Pol was worse. She immediately did a small, raising head nod while her eyes flickered, and she stared intently at me. Wow was that a really obvious tell right there and I am so going to exploit that for fun later on. It feels good to know I'm at least moderately perceptive in this mortal body of mine.

"They work fast, which is why the doors to this room have already been repaired. If it has activated any other androids for assistance, then the other doors may already be fixed."

Hoshi recovers first and asks Tucker's question again. "Why weren't they on earlier when we first came in?" I motioned with my hand for them to follow me, and we started to head back to our destination.

"They must have detected the emergency signal that brought your ship here." I step through the door wait to the side for them to file in before continuing. "The androids were not made to handle medical emergencies. So, when that particular signal was sent out, they allowed you to roam the ship without interference under the assumption that you were coming to my aid."

I let out a deep laugh. "Though, you are lucky it was all a misunderstanding. Had you not been able to save me, or tried to take me from the ship to treat me, they would not be so willing to designate you as my friends. If one of them was enough to make you squirm, imagine another two dozen of them all dedicated to hunting you down."

They trade looks of apprehension at the implication that they were in danger and didn't even know it.

We pass several more rooms in silence before I stop and address them again. "I do not believe I have introduced myself. How rude." I place an open palm on my chest. "I am Mala'kak, an Engineer, from the planet Ossia."

"I'm Hoshi Sato, Linguist Communications Officer."

"…sub-commander T'Pol, Science Officer…"

"Commander Tucker, Chief Engineer of the Enterprise. That's our ship. And _we_," He gestures to Hoshi and himself. "come from a planet known as Earth." He sends a questioning look towards T'Pol.

"…My people come from a planet known as Vulcan. It is also the name of our species as a whole." I forget that she's rather reluctant to engage in social interactions when she doesn't have to this early on in their mission.

As for the names of our species, I knew this would come up at some point, so better to take care of it now. Smiling, "It is a pleasure to meet you. All of you." Looking to Tucker, "Chief Engineer?" I raise my brows and question. We sort of stare at each other until Hoshi starts working the Universal Translator.

"Hold on…oh! Engineer is the closest the translator can get to his peoples' name. He's an Engineer like _we_ are Human." She turns to me while gesturing to Tucker. "He's the…chief _mechanic _on our ship." Tucker throws her an offended look, to which she shrugs helplessly.

I nod. "Ah, I see." Then I chuckle and point a finger at him. "You certainly do not look like one of my people. Too short." I resume walking, hearing Hoshi giggle, only to call out over my shoulder. "And pink." That earns me laughter, until it stops abruptly. "Wait…" I guess she realizes she's in the same boat since she's also Human.

It's my turn to laugh now.

We pass through the rooms that hold the Auxiliary Power console, Cloaking console, and their assigned androids before finally reaching the Droid Control room. Once inside, I move to pick up a nearby cylinder and hold it out for Tucker to grab. "These are nanites. I use them to repair the damages to my ship that neither my nor my androids' sizes allow.

His brows furrow as he studies the container. "Nanites? Seriously? It looks empty to me. How many are in here?" He holds it up in the air and squints.

"There are billions of them in that container alone." Without looking at their reactions, I continue to move back out the door we came. They follow after. "Once we are on your ship, I will help you to disperse them in the most efficient quantities and locations. They will be able to repair any external and internal damage to your ship for as long as they are active. It will be as pristine as the moment it first left…what did you call it? Vulcan?"

"Earth." Hoshi corrected.

"Yes, Earth. It will be as pristine as it was when it left Earth for years to come."

"And y-you can do that!? You _would _do that for us?" He runs up beside me. T'Pol cuts in from behind. "We've only just met and you're giving us technology worth far more than any additional damage you've done. I can't help but wonder why."

I look down at Tucker, then to T'Pol and Hoshi, and speak as sincerely as I can. "Of course, I am. I told you, I would be more than happy to help repair your ship. It is the least I can do for the inconvenience I have caused you. Besides…it has been quite some time since I have had the pleasure of meeting new races such as yourselves. Two at once, even. I am in a charitable mood, to say the least."

We travelled through five more rooms with various ship system controls before finally getting to the transporter bay. Which had a pad with enough room for up to twelve people to transport at once and a few androids to help with the loading and unloading of any supplies I beam up or down. "This is my transporter bay. We can transport ourselves anywhere on your ship from here. Where would it be appropriate for us to appear?"

Instead of answering me, T'Pol took out her comm. "Archer." His voice came through.

"Captain, we're returning to Enterprise with the ship's captain. After we've cleared decontamination, meet us in…" She looks at me expectantly. I stare back in confusion until I think back to what I said about specific areas for nanite injections.

"Oh! Yes. Starting with the vital ship systems would be best. From those consoles, the nanites can work their way inward through the ship's internal wiring. Whichever one you prefer to start with is fine." I spoke loudly, so she wouldn't need to repeat it.

"Wait, nanites? As in, microscopic machines? How are nanites going to help repair the nacelle?" Before she can answer, I do.

"The nanites have your ship's schematics already. My apologies for having done so without your permission, but my ship automatically scans and shares the data on any vessel it comes across with the nanites for situations such as this. Since they now know your ship as well as it _can_ be known from a _mechanic's _point of view," I give a sidelong glance down to Hoshi and Tucker, who smile and scowl respectively. "it will not take them long to have you running at maximum efficiency."

"…uh, I see. Well, thank you for your assistance. We look forward to having you on board." _Of_ _course_ he'd sound a little hesitant what with me scanning the ship and the people on it without them even knowing. Not that he knew I scanned _them _too. And not that he would for a while still.

I smile. "And I look forward to meeting more of your people as well." I was definitely looking forward to meeting Porthos. 'Reacting' to him for the first time was going to be fun.

"T'Pol, I'll meet with you once you've passed decontamination. Archer, out." The comm beeps off.

"Ah, I have a question before we go." I turn to Hoshi as I step onto the transporter pad. "Will this 'decontamination' hurt? I am not a fan of pain." I didn't know how, since I haven't ever been physically hurt before, but I just _knew_.

She shakes her head no. "It'll take a few hours, but beyond that it's just waiting in a room until our doctor is sure there are no pathogens on us or our clothing that would be harmful to the crew."

They step onto the pad with me, watching as the nearby android comes to life and moves to operate the transporter interface. "**Standby for transport in five…four…three…two…one…**" Golden beams of light engulf us. We fade away in less than a second, our patterns sent to rematerialize where the Enterprise's contamination chamber should be.

This was starting out rather well. I'm looking forward to spending the next few centuries here. Maybe even longer. Who knew? I certainly didn't.

And wasn't that just _wonderful_?


	2. Chapter 2

After scaring the hell out of a figure in a hazard suit I quickly recognized as Phlox, who had no idea that we would just appear beside him in the decontamination room, he had us all strip down to our underwear and enter the chamber. Only, he had to bring me a large towel to wrap around my waist as I had no underwear. The suit I was wearing having been the _only_ article of clothing that I had.

Something all four of them found out when I, with great amusement, quickly and casually removed my armor and revealed my naked form faster than any of them could stop me. Their reactions made it very hard to keep a straight face of innocent confusion.

Tucker turned away immediately after seeing me. "Hey, _hey_!"

Hoshi, who wasn't paying me any attention at that moment but heard Tucker, looked around for whatever it was that made him call out. After scoping the room she finally looked at me, staring at my upper body for a few seconds before her eyes started traveling downwards. Stopping at something that had her furrowing her brows and then blushing heavily, she turned away.

Phlox was a lot less bothered by the fact that I was naked than the others. He didn't outright stare at me or anything, but he wasn't hastening to look away, either. Not that I blame him. My body was made to impress. Tall, muscular, agile, fast, good reflexes, well-endowed as the four of them could see, and a shit ton of other things to make my life as a mortal easy but interesting.

T'Pol's reaction was by far the best one of all. Her eyes widening ever so slightly, her head tilting down and to the side, and she gives me this look that says '_Is this for real? Are you seriously naked right now?_' All of this while looking me dead in the eyes. It was great!

After enjoying their reactions, I hum in supposed understanding. It's now time to play the alien who is clueless of other cultures. Frowning, "I see now. I have offended you with the sight of my body. I once again offer my apologies." I bow my head in shame despite not feeling ashamed in the slightest.

"Oh, no, you haven't offended anyone. There's no need to apologize. Humans and Vulcans are simply more reserved about revealing their bodies or talking about such matters relative to those they don't share intimate bonds with. Denobulans, such as I, aren't nearly as reserved. Well, for the most part."

I nod, looking reassured. "Good. I was afraid I had accidentally offended you all. I am Mala'kak, an Engineer from the planet Ossia. It is wonderful to meet you."

"Phlox, a doctor from Denobula, and it is nice to meet you as well." He then smiles, one that stretches wide across his face. "Now, why don't we see if we can find you something to wear, hm? Your clothes must be decontaminated separately for full effect.

"That sounds fine to me, doctor. And I hope to hear about you and your people some time. However, I must tell you that I am not a mechanic. I am an _Engineer_. It is the name of my people, not my profession. The universal translator apparently has trouble with that particular translation."

Shortly after that, I was given a towel to wrap around my waist and sent to be decontaminated with the others. After rubbing some sort of medicinal ointment on my skin and having T'Pol rub the rest into my back, she was conveniently available to do so once Hoshi and Tucker had paired up with each other, I got to work on doing her.

Unfortunately, just not in the way I wanted to be able to do her.

There was a thick silence between the four of us, so to break the ice, I try a joke. "Well, despite the small space, this is certainly the most fun _I _have had in the last few weeks. Until now, it has just been me and my androids." And it technically was, ignoring the 'weeks' part. I'm enjoying the hell out of myself rubbing this anti-pathogen cream or whatever it is on T'Pol's back. Because I'm making my move on her at some point in the future. Might as well start laying the foundation down now while she's still available.

"I believe you have successfully rubbed in the ointment over the areas I am unable to reach." Take it slow for now. Then strike when the time is right. Yes, good advice, me!

I take my hands away from her back, rubbing the remaining amount into my forearms as she pulls what little shirt she's wearing back down. "My apologies, T'Pol. I am habitually thorough with any tasks I perform. It is how I have managed to keep my ship intact over the last few centuries."

Before they can ask about my age, I change the subject. "What are your planets like? Is Vulcan a tropical paradise? Is the Earth covered in frozen tundras? Are each a healthy mix of both? Maybe more?"

Tucker started before the other two could even think of speaking. Talking for nearly twenty minutes about everything Earth had to offer from sunny beaches to premium steaks that tasted like Heaven. He also 'had' to explain Heaven to me, but it was fun to watch him jump from topic to topic.

Before he could get into explaining the intricacies of dive bars, I cut him off without being too abrupt. "Earth sounds wonderful, Tucker. I hope to visit it someday and try some, what did you call it? Nah-chose?"

"_Nachos_."

"Right, nachos. With the melted cheese, yes?" He nods at me milking my 'ignorance' for all its worth. "But, if you do not mind, I wish to hear about Vulcan as well. T'Pol looks like she is eager to share." So eager, in fact, she's forgotten to actually show it.

I'm given what I shall now call the Stare of Ultimate Annoyance. Rolls right off the tongue, I know. "…Vulcan's surface is covered in deserts and mountains, with various small scattered seas. The planet's climate is harsh, with its desert areas being prone to large amounts of heat, light, and electrical sandfire storms. There are active volcanoes, ancient ruins, and lava fields in the lands that aren't covered in cities. Cities that are divided into multiple provinces and districts."

I wait for a few second for her to continue but she seems to be finished. Smiling, I clap my hands together. "Sounds like a wonderful place to call home!" I get stares of disbelief that are pointedly ignored. "Your description reminds me of two of the largest planets in my home-world's star system: Raava and Vaatu. Before we got to them, of course."

"Go on, I wish to know more. What of the Vulcans themselves? Describe them, _you_, to me." I gestured enthusiastically with my hands.

It took a fair bit of coaxing, but I finally got her to open up about Vulcan culture. How they suppressed their emotions and embraced logic. How meditation was a large part of maintaining their ideal sense of self. How their children learned in skill domes at The Vulcan Learning Center. And a whole lot more that I honestly found interesting. Like, the fact that Vulcans _did _have family names. They were just unpronounceable without many years of practice; for non-Vulcans at least.

I wholeheartedly plan on taking advantage of the fact that no one trusts her right now to build a relationship of intimate trust that has room to evolve into something more. Showing an active interest in learning about her and where she comes from is merely step one. Step two…I'll figure that out once step one is done. But for now, it's time to focus on step one!

A period of silence passes after T'Pol's finished educating me on the basic inner workings of Vulcan society before Hoshi asks, "So, we've told you what Earth and Vulcan are like, but what's it like on your planet, Al? What're your people like?" Since Mala'kak was too long to be used in casual conversation, she and Tucker have taken to calling me Al; T'Pol has yet to do so. She'd come around soon enough, but I was fine either way.

Though, I have to say, it's going to be very hard not to burst out laughing every time the face and voice of Scott Bakula refers to me like that in exasperation. Hopefully, I get many chances to exasperate him.

I shrug and turn my head away. "Ah, do you really wish to know? It will just bring down the mood. Why not hear about Vulcan again? I am eager to find out more about these finger neck pinches Tucker had mentioned. How do _those _work?" Holding up my right hand, I tapped my pointer finger against my thumb. 'Unintentionally' insulting a signature Vulcan move.

T'Pol sent Tucker the same withering look I myself got not too long ago, but quickly turned back to me. "We have told you about our worlds. It is only fair to tell us about yours." Then she did that gesturing motion with her head, the one that told me she was being snarky. The one that I can't seem to not notice…among a slew of other things about her-!

On my life, she will be mine someday!

…ahem.

I hesitate, doing my best to look as though I'm trying to come up with a reason not to tell them anything. Hoshi wasn't about to let me worm my way out of it, though. "Consider it part of your attempt to make amends for dragging our ship here, if it helps." So manipulative! Wasn't she supposed to be nervous and _not snippy_ about being in space towards the beginning? Doesn't 'space' cover me as well? Ah man, why do I get the feeling they're all going to be this way with me at some point?

It must be my kind outward persona. I'm too good at playing nice for my own good. Bunch of hungry sharks these people…

I smile as resignedly I could, preparing myself mentally to dramatically reveal my backstory. A backstory, I should mention, that is entirely true. Well, it became true once I used my R.O.B. powers to make it so that the Engineers (the Ossians), the Xenomorphs, and the Predators (the Yautja) really did exist in another part of the galaxy a long time ago. So, technically, I wasn't lying.

Being a liar wasn't what I want to do during my vacation. Too much work. Better to just warp reality to my whims. Easier too, if I'm being honest.

"…okay. If you really must know. But do not say I did not warn you." I pace a little, before lightly sighing. "I may be biased, but my planet was beyond beautiful. More so than anything I have ever had the pleasure of coming across. In fact, I will even go so far as to say that nothing, not now or ever, will ever come quite as close to Ossia."

"There was little water on my world. Less than a percent of a percent of the planet's surface was anything but dry and desolate. _Dead_. But where there _was_ water, my people were there to carefully tend to its continued existence. Constantly devising ways to preserve it, then to efficiently distribute it, and eventually we learned how to produce _more _of it. And surviving, as a result of their delicate tending to an environment without mercy or remorse, drove us to do so at greater and greater lengths."

"_Countless_ generations had spent their lifetimes dedicated to simply surviving a cruel world long enough to make it better for the incoming ones. All in the hopes of one day shedding Ossia's natural oppression. Over and over and over until we realized that we _had_ survived and were _continuing_ to survive. Where we once numbered in the dozens, we came to number in the thousands! And we wouldn't stop there. The next step…was thriving."

I admit I got a little lost in the storytelling myself. But not nearly as much as they did. I mean, even T'Pol was hooked.

"But how would we thrive on a planet that still held unending stretches of desert? The answer came in the form of a little something we called _terraforming_. It took centuries of dedicated and miraculous acts of science, but we turned that ball of yellow dust in space into thick forests and vast oceans that refused to be contained by even its creators. There were even some that managed to penetrate the numerous underground caverns. Caverns that went on for miles deep into the planet. Now, you would think we would stop there. Quit while we were so very far ahead of where we used to be."

I get a round of captivated head nods. "Wrong. We did the exact opposite. And instead of holding onto and preserving what we had fought so hard to cultivate, we sought what we had always sought on _other_ planets. It was so intense, the race to other worlds. The paranoia of some other race of people taking what would-be fertile lands that belonged rightfully to us! To the ones that had managed to bring a dead planet back to life! Who else deserved to own the system we lived in than the ones who could control nature to such an extent?"

"And just like our other goals, through effort beyond effort, we achieved it. Made it to every known world in the system, asserting ourselves over the indigenous population as the ruling class. And yet," I hold out my arms over my head and bring them back down in one smooth motion, letting them slap against my suit. "it was not nearly enough. Our empire ruled with absolute authority over all that we could reach, and we still hungered for more." I turn to the nearest wall and bump my head against it. "Hehehe…" I laugh depreciatingly.

"What did your empire try for next? Where? Another star system?" To which I roll my eyes. Not that they could tell what with them being all black in color.

"Next, Hoshi? _Next_ my so-called glorious empire did what anything too heavy with its own power did. It collapsed in on itself. A collapse so absolute it swallowed everything there was! Everything _we_ _were_!" I practically spit out the words with as much venom as I can put into them. They say nothing.

"My people were…arrogant. This much I have come to realize. And in the end, it was our arrogance that killed us. We thought we had the right to govern the worlds we seeded as we saw fit. To bend them to our will." I let out another, heavier breath. "To bend the once independently sovereign _people_ they housed…to our will."

"What happened?" Tucker, sounding hesitant to even speak but waning to know.

I look up from my place facing the wall. "To put it simply, they didn't like how we treated them, and the resulting conflict ended with me being all alone in the universe with no home to go back to. All alone despite the many peoples I meet on my travels…the friends I make."

I stare into space for a while, waiting for one of them to say something. But no one looks like they're going to. Which is fine, since I could use some quiet time. Gives me an opportunity to make up a way to disassociate myself from the ideals that my fictional home empire stood for. Can't have them thinking less of me because of that. It would make for a pretty shitty vacation if people started hating me on just the first day.

Still, I imagine Tucker couldn't help but say, "We should've talked about the finger neck pinches, instead." Cue the almost, but not quite, non-existent withering glare from T'Pol towards Tucker.

At least Hoshi and I can get a laugh out of it, if not them.

We sit in silence for a while after that, enjoying the ultraviolet radiation on our skin and waiting for the decontamination process to be over. Eventually, Phlox's voice comes through the speaker. "Commander Sato, Sub-Commander T'Pol, Commander Tucker, Mr. Mala'kak, you are clear of any harmful contaminants. Feel free to leave the chamber at any time."

I wait until the others have left before making my own exit. Don't want to be rude or anything. Also, it would be better to get around the ship if the less intimidating members of the group were the first ones people see. The last thing I need is for someone to try and stun me. I would rather they find out it doesn't work on me some other way.

Having the element of surprise amongst even friends could prove to be useful later on.

We took turns using the away team locker room. Hoshi and T'Pol changing out of the sweaty undergarments they wore first, then Tucker and I. After we all finished putting on our freshly cleaned and decontaminated clothes, in my case my armor, we left decontamination to go see the rest of the ship.

Though, we only made it a few steps outside.

Walking towards us, from further down in the hall, was Captain Archer, looking eager to meet me. A pleasant surprise considering how sounded hesitant he sounded on the communicator earlier. Not overly surprising, however.

I imagine that after meeting the Axanar and getting into a fight with the ship that killed an entire crew of them, a first contact situation with someone willing to help _repair_ his ship rather than damage it further was a welcome event.


End file.
